VVSVS — is the creative platform of Ivan Flugelman.
A creative based in Berlin exploring the relationships between art, design and technology with a passion for content.

I Hate The Creative Process

The amount of resistance that I run into every time I have to start a new project, online course, personal artwork, etc is so immense that sometimes (most of the times) makes me want to quit my profession and start a bio-farming business.

And the worse part is that the more Senior I get, the deeper I have to deal with these terrible emotions. Whenever I decide to face that blank canvas I literally struggle so hard internally that I start questioning the deeper layers of reality. I sit down on the computer and I see that white looking at me. And I draw the first line and suddenly all my senses start playing against me.

My subconscious starts digging in the past, all my biggest failures in life are being placed in front of me in 3D-Ultra-HD.

I keep struggling and suddenly I realise that I am a total fake. How did I even advance in my creative career?

The world has not realised yet how terrible I am or I’m an excellent liar, a cheat, a con artist. After I passed that terrible dread comes the ‘compare yourself to the great’ phase. I start watching the work of the top people in the industry…wait no, Picasso, or why don’t I master light and composition like Rembrandt?

If I look at their paintings it just looks so easy. Anyone can do that with some practise! If only I had the time to focus on my light and composition studies…And then anxiety kicks in.

I feel like drowning because its been 40minutes and I don’t have a masterpiece yet.

I do not have time to create a masterpiece. I need to create something that gets me a lot of likes in Facebook in 35 minutes or else my whole life as a creative is over.

But then you go back. To that point where you just look at your previous work and realise that at some point you do have something to give to the world. It’s just resistance and anxiety that are playing against you. It is a normal part of the process every time that we need to start a new activity that involves our focused attention, certain parts of the brain related to pain are activated.

So it is this initial painful phase that we have to overcome to actually start producing any type of work.

If we compare it to sport its that first decision to go to the gym or to the box for your first workout after months of inactivity.

All sorts of excuses and images of fear come to haunt you.

After you manage to cross over that threshold you must accept the idea that fast results are never worth it.

It takes time to get into the zone. But once you get there you connect to the deeper parts of your creativity and if you can let it flow uninterruptedly you will start seeing some sort of seed for what might actually be an amazing piece of artwork, story, or even production planning for any future creative endeavour.

Then comes the hard work. Keep focus and momentum. Manage continuity in order to finish what you started. But I do not believe any amazing creative piece of work ever come into fruition by not going through this process.

But at least now we are through with the hardest part, even if what we produce that day is not to our satisfaction we might now have a clear picture of what we don’t want or what we need to focus on. And maybe next time it won’t be so painful.

Now that you are more aware of this, its time to tuck in your shirt and go and create something awesome.

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VVSVS — is the creative platform of Ivan Flugelman. A creative based in Berlin exploring the relationships between art, design and technology with a passion for moving content.

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